5 Reasons ladies should forgive Tekno’s ‘Cassava’ for disappointing them

Half naked celebrities are not a new thing today, and the pool picture of pop singer Tekno would not have gotten more than the predictable ‘ooh’s and ahh’s’ from adoring female fans if he did not advertise that he had a big cassava in his hit song “Pana”.

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The picture which showed an average sized eggplant was a bit of a shocker to fans who were expecting him to pack like a horse. Maybe something went wrong, because even in the light of this new revelation,Tekno’s past pictures and his very believable song lyrics makes it hard for us to take in this huge, or should we say ‘small’  disappointment.

Below are five reasons we should forgive him for this great (small) disappointment.

  1. Size is a matter of perspective: Who are you to call that bulge small? We do not know what his lovers think of it and as much as it might not look impressive, who says it doesn’t work well enough when in use? Besides, he is still growing so the statement “I get big cassava” might be a statement of faith and futuristic declaration.

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        2. The water was too cold: Haba!! He just came out of a pool. Cold water is known to shrink the size of a penis, just ask your brother or even male bestie. You cannot expect his cassava to be charging anyhow when harmattan cold made his cassava shape-shift into Okro. It’s just not fair.

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           3. The picture is photoshopped: Well, there is always the small chance that Tekno doesn’t want to increase the number of his female fans any more than they already are, so he decided to photoshop the size to something more regular. Trust us, we know someone, who knows someone, who knows him. His cassava is …… gan ask him to show you jor.

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            4. The camera angle was not flattering: Owing to the poor skill of the photographer, maybe the best angle to showcase the full glory of his cassava was not caught. This we know because everything is just camera, and if you have not seen it yourself in its full size, who are you to judge?

            5. The Recession is affecting the Cassava: Knowing how everything is reducing in size and value with this recession in Nigeria, what’s to say Tekno’s cassava is an exception? We all know the penis is a very sensitive part of the body, and maybe so that it doesn’t consume all the food the poor boy is hustling to eat, it decided to shrink itself into carrot size. This is to save cost and food and others in this present economy.

So you see? Tekno’s Cassava is a victim of circumstance and should not be blamed for our impossibly high expectations.

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